It’s been about five months since I last posted a comic, and although I’ve blogged since then, it’s not the same. I didn’t post about what was going on due to a number of reasons (no readers, I’m not good at remembering I have twitter, it didn’t seem like it would last long, etc.), but I’ve felt bad about it nonetheless and wanted to clear the air a bit about where I’ve been (not to mention wanting to shut up the inner critic criticizing my communication skills).
The story isn’t particularly complicated. We were planning to move and I began to devote much of my time to packing our apartment, so much so I lost track of the comic. Then my partner and I got jobs which delayed the move, but they weren’t stable so soon we were back on the panicked hunt for boxes and moving companies, living month to month in a flurry of cardboard and dust and emotional distress while trying to land on our feet (as well as broken things, lost things, and things accidentally donated never to be found again). The comic prodded at the back of my mind but was just as constantly swept aside by waves of More Important Things ™ and an all encompassing ennui that turned into malaise. New employment was found in October, but as the sense that the roof over our heads wouldn’t suddenly evaporate hadn’t subsided, I again turned from the comic and continued trying to order our lives and straighten out whatever was wrong in my head.
Things started looking up. I had been making art again, starting to be creative and take interest in creative endeavors that I had felt alienated from, and generally starting to do better over all.
Then I pulled my wrist at work.
My right wrist. My dominant hand, the one in charge of all the art making (although lefty has been doing a fair job as an understudy). With it my heart twisted and sank like a ship in a violent sea. My desire to make a living as an artist, the one thing I’ve found that makes me truly happy while doing it (whether by myself, in a group, or with a rotating kaleidoscopic cast of fellow performers, painters, and musicians) came rushing back into harsh focus. It’s the only time I feel alive and like I’m moving towards personal fulfillment and greater contribution to society. To light up someone’s day and forge that connection is what I live for, and I haven’t yet found another way besides art that has the same spark (at least not one that comes as brightly and naturally as the creating–sharing cycle of art).
In all of this, I realized why I’ve felt so trapped – I’m very much not a 9-5 job person. The rhythm is unnatural to me, and while self-motivation can be like wrestling a rabid dog, it’s a better fight than with the slow death of myself. Sure, I’ve had creative gigs which ran on a schedule (looking at you, Renaissance Faires), but the wild variability of creating within said schedule makes the start and stop times almost moot. Twisting my wrist was like a slap upside the metaphysical face reminding me of all this.
I’m not telling you this for sympathy or as a plea – this isn’t that kind of story. What I want to do is be transparent about all of this rockiness. I don’t want to be one of those artists who makes something and disappears into the ether without an explanation. I want to be open and honest and be a better communicator with you, my fans and readers. I want to learn from this, not run away with my tail between my legs and stop the creation cycle.
So, to you, dear reader: I hope you like my comic, or blog, or some other random thing I’ve created and shared, that’s half of why I do this (the rest is a mix of childish joy and rebellion against growing up). I hope you’ll keep coming by to see what I’ve written and made, and maybe even chatter with me on twitter. Either way, thank you for coming by today and reading this. Feel free to hang around and have a cup of tea (just don’t bother the oozes, they’re cranky like that).
Since I can’t draw or write quite like I usually do (typing hurts, so this is a hunt & peck kind of deal), I won’t be doing much blogging while I heal, or any comics. I am working on a new project, though, and will start posting about it once I am able. The injury is enough to require immobilization, so this likely won’t be until after they’ve moved me out of that phase entirely.
Until then – stay awesome!